You may have heard the phrase “elope”, “eloped”, or “elopement” and weren’t quite sure what it meant. Maybe a friend recently announced they’ve eloped or perhaps you’ve come across it while planning your own wedding and wondered just what it means to elope. After all, doesn’t that just mean running off to get married in secret?
The definition of “elope” has changed over the years and no longer exclusively means getting married at a courthouse or in secret, though that’s often the first thing that comes to people’s minds when the hear the word.
How I Define “Elope” as an Elopement Photographer & Planner
Helping couples plan and remember incredible elopements is what I do for a living, so I know a thing or two about eloping. One of the things that makes eloping so special is that each one is unique to the couple getting married. They get to fully customize their wedding day to them and create an adventure that has meaning for their relationship.
The way I Define an Elopement
An elopement is an intimate wedding with few or no guests. It can take place anywhere but is usually outdoors, and the couple spends the day doing things they love with the people they are closest with.
Choosing to elope is about taking complete control of your wedding day and celebrating it intentionally instead of doing the big wedding that has become the standard but ultimately doesn’t have a lot of meaning to many people today.
To be clear, if having a big wedding is what you’ve always dreamed of, then go on ahead and celebrate that way. I don’t believe there is one right or wrong way to get married, so long as you plan your day around the two of you and what feels special to you.
The Technical Definition of “Elope”
Until the 21st century, eloping has meant having a wedding in secret, typically in a hurry, and without any guests. This definition is still reflected in most dictionaries.
If you look up “elope” in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, you’ll find the following definition:
- To run away secretly with the intention of getting married, usually without parental consent.
- To slip away: escape.
When you compare that to the type of elopements we’re seeing today that are about embracing your personal interests and weaving them into your celebrations, sometimes with family, you can see how much the word has changed over the last few decades!
What Eloping Looks Like Today
In today’s day and age, eloping can look like an extravagant destination wedding to an exciting location, or it can be a courthouse wedding or anything in between. Many couples use an elopement as a chance to celebrate the beginning of their marriage in a big way by going to a place they’ve always wanted to visit. For others, eloping is a way to save money.
There’s no one-size-fits-all elopement, which is what’s so beautiful about this way of getting married. The entire experience is personal and reflects your values and personality!
Weddings are often filled with a lot of traditions that don’t actually have meaning in todays culture. When you elope, you have freedom to include the traditions that actually have meaning to you and leave out the ones that don’t without feeling guilty. You’re also free to start your own traditions or simply celebrate in a unique way, like spending quality time cooking together or taking in epic views along a hike.
Learn about wedding traditions and how to plan a meaningful wedding.
Elopements vs. Intimate Weddings vs. Weddings
Alongside the rise of elopements, we’ve also seen intimate weddings become popular. If you’ve found yourself wondering just what the difference is, I will break it down for you.
Elopements
Guests: Typically capped at 15-20 guests, but often includes 0 guests.
Location: Virtually anywhere! From a National Park to a National Forest to an Airbnb, the world is your oyster.
Time to Plan: Couples typically take at least 4 months, but sometimes take up to 2 years to plan their elopement. The most common is between 6-12 months.
Cost: An elopement usually costs between $5k-$15k, but it all depends on the kind of experience the couple wants for their elopement and can cost more or less.
Intimate or Micro Weddings
Guests: Usually around 50 guests or less.
Location: Can take place at a traditional, or untraditional wedding venue like a State Park or a family member’s backyard.
Time to Plan: Couples typically take 6-12 months to plan their intimate wedding, but sometimes up to 2 years.
Cost: The average intimate wedding costs around $10k-$15k.
Traditional Weddings
Guests: Between 75-150+ guests
Location: Traditional wedding venues
Time to Plan: Couples usually take 12-24 months to plan their wedding.
Cost: The average price of a traditional wedding in the U.S. is $35k
The Most Asked Questions about Eloping
Eloping is about creating a personal wedding experience and putting the focus back on the two of you committing your lives to each other forever. It’s a beautiful way to begin your new life together!
Since elopements are not traditional, I understand that there are a lot of questions about what it means. Here are the most common questions about eloping to help you better understand what it means to elope.
Do you have to get married alone if you elope?
No, you don’t have to get married alone if you have an elopement! Many couples who elope still bring their family and closest friends with them. Having your loved ones with you can make the celebrations that much more meaningful.
Check out my complete guide to planning an elopement with family!
How long does it take to plan an elopement?
An elopement can be planned in as little as 2 or 3 months, but most couples take 6-12 months to plan. It depends on the type of experience you want to have and if your dream vendors are available on short notice.
Does eloping mean getting married in a courthouse?
You can elope anywhere you want! Some couples have a courthouse wedding either before or after their elopement to take care of the legal side of their wedding, but it’s not required. As long as you have an ordained minister with you (like I am!) to sign your paperwork, you can get married anywhere! With so many beautiful places you could explore on your wedding day, why spend it in a courthouse?
Is eloping done in secret?
Sometimes, but eloping doesn’t have to be a secret. It’s up to you to decide what works best for the two of you and your own family dynamics. Many couples choose to elope by themselves and announce it after the fact, but many let their loved ones know beforehand.
Ways to include family in your elopement, before, during, and after you elope!
Is an elopement a real marriage?
Eloping alone in nature is just as real as a big wedding. This day is all about your commitment to each other, and it doesn’t matter if you’re surrounded by two people or two hundred. Just make sure you get your marriage license signed by an ordained minister to make it legal.
What do you do on your elopement day?
Anything you want! This is your chance to splurge on yourselves and go to that place you’ve always wanted to visit, rent a cozy cabin in the mountains, forest bathe in an old-growth forest, take a guided snowmobile tour, or anything else that is calling your name. There’s no wrong way to celebrate, so do something that makes you happy!
Do you have to hike to elope?
While hiking is a great way to explore epic sights, you don’t have to hike to elope. There are endless locations with incredible views that require little to no hiking, you can hire a private 4×4 tour guide to get off the beaten path, or take a helicopter tour to the top of a glacier. Incredible views don’t have to mean physically exerting yourself if that’s not something you’re into.
Check out these epic elopement ideas!
To Conclude, an Elopement is…
An intentional and intimate wedding fully catered to the two of you. Eloping is about creating a meaningful experience that leaves time to live in the moment and experience your wedding day for the once-in-a-lifetime moment that it is.
If an elopement is calling your name
Happy eloping!
