How to Plan a Meaningful Wedding

When you think of the perfect wedding, do you think of a big white dress, a long schedule of events, and traditions that you don’t really know the origins of? What if you could plan a meaningful wedding day instead? One filled with the people you love and a celebration that was personalized to you and your partner.

The wedding industry has been telling you that your wedding has to look a certain way. From barn venues to a white lace gown. But this day is supposed to be about you and your partner getting married, your vows to love each other for the rest of your lives, and celebrating the beginning of your new life together.

If you want a wedding that is meaningful and personal, you’re in the right place! I help couples plan and document meaningful wedding experiences, and this guide is going to help you ditch meaningless traditions and craft a day that resonates with you instead!

Are Wedding Traditions Important?

This might be a controversial opinion, but I think that whether a wedding tradition is important is subjective to each couple. The whole concept of a tradition is that it has meaning, and depending on your own experience and upbringing, some traditions may hold value to you while others may not.

That’s why I’m a big advocate for doing what feels right to you. Because everyone has a different experience in life, and on a day as important as this, I believe it’s important to celebrate in a way that holds meaning to you and you shouldn’t do something just because it’s what everyone else does.

Remember the True Meaning of Your Wedding Day

In today’s age, it’s easy to lose the real meaning of the day: two people committing their lives to one another. That’s all that this day is really about, and sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of that.

Common Wedding Traditions and their Origins

There’s a lot of different traditions for weddings, and this post is going to discuss some common traditions in Western culture. Let’s dive into some of the most common wedding traditions and where they originated from so you can decide for yourselves if they’re something you want to include in your wedding day.

A quick note: some traditions have varying origin stories, so it’s hard to say exactly where some of them came from. In the end, you can decide to include or not include anything you want. If you like a tradition but don’t love how it came to be, don’t get too wrapped up in how it started and feel free to embrace the piece you love about it!

Wearing a White Dress

Did you know that Queen Victoria was the first prominent figure to wear a white wedding dress? She was a fashion icon of the 19th century, and after her wedding in 1840, white became the go-to color for wedding dresses. Before that, women would wear whatever their best dress was – which could be any color! There’s no reason you can’t add a little (or even a lot!) of color to your wedding day attire!

Not Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony

It’s said to be bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before their wedding. This idea dates back to when many marriages were arranged. Not seeing each other before the wedding was a way of ensuring the groom wouldn’t back out if he saw his bride and found her attractive. Nowadays, it’s common to do a first look between getting dressed and the actual ceremony.

Learn more about planning a first look.

Something Old, Something New

This famous saying, “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, a sixpence for your shoe” is an old English rhyme. These items were to be worn by the bride as a way of warding off a curse of infertility.

Wearing a Veil

In ancient Rome and Greece, a bride’s veil was believed to ward off evil spirits. Later on, it became a symbol of modesty and purity. Veils have dropped in popularity in recent years, but many brides still choose to wear one as they walk down the aisle simply for their elegant look.

Tossing Rice

Tossing rice dates back to ancient Rome, where it was thought to bring the bride and groom fertility. This tradition has evolved over time from rice to a wide range of things, including confetti and bubbles. Today it holds less tradition and is more of a fun way for the couple to exit their wedding reception at the end of the evening.

Carrying a Bouquet

This one has quite a few different supposed origins ranging from using the flowers to cover the bride’s stench from not showering for months to the florals carrying symbolic meaning to giving the bride something to do with her hands as she walks down the aisle, so I don’t know if we actually know where it started. The act of carrying a bouquet is still quite popular today.

How to Plan a Meaningful Wedding

We have a whole industry dedicated to weddings. From magazines to websites to wedding planners, there’s no shortage of resources to help you plan a wedding. And if you’re looking to plan a traditional wedding, those are all going to be great resources, but if you want to break free from tradition and tailor your day to you, you will need to forge your own path.

Planning a meaningful wedding is really exciting because you can literally do anything you want! I’m all for couples taking full control of their wedding to create a day that they can’t wait to celebrate.

Traditional Weddings vs. Elopements

In the last few years, elopements have risen in popularity. One reason I love elopements is because it gives couples complete control over their wedding experience!

If you’re not already aware, elopements don’t necessarily mean running off to get married in secret anymore. They’re an intimate wedding experience, oftentimes taking place in epic outdoor locations, and can even include family and friends!

Learn more about what eloping looks like today.

Elopements come with a lot more freedom, giving couples total control over the who, what when, and where of their day.

Even if you decide to have a more traditional wedding, you can still create a day that is meaningful! Whether it’s a unique venue, carefully selecting your guests, or the food you serve, there are tons of ways to customize your wedding day.

What are the Main Differences Between Traditional Weddings and Elopements?

If you’re interested in learning more about planning an elopement, check out my guide, how to elope!

Decide What has Meaning to You

Take a moment and imagine your perfect wedding day. What does it feel like? Is it relaxed or bustling with activity? Are you surrounded by family and friends or would you rather celebrate alone? What are the first things that come to mind when you think of your wedding day? What traditions are important to you or your family?

Make a list of the things you know you want in your wedding experience and a list of things you want to avoid. Try not to let opinions of others influence this part of your process and focus entirely on what you want.

Knowing these things will guide you in the rest of your planning process.

Decide Who to Invite

Relationships are the most precious thing we have in our lives, which is why I recommend carefully selecting who to invite to your wedding. Being intentional with who you invite will have a huge impact in your day.

Remember, this is your day, and no one is owed an invitation to your wedding. It is a gift that you are free to give to whomever you desire. So don’t feel guilty for not inviting your second cousin you haven’t seen in six years.

Opting for an elopement? Check out this guide to including your family in your elopement!

Consult Your Family

If you are close with your family and they will be involved in your day, talk to them and see what they’re feeling. Some families may have certain traditions that they want to see in your day. If they align with what you want, great! If not, ask them what it is about those elements that are important to them and see if you can come up with a solution that satisfies everyone.

Everyone has a different dynamic within their family, so do what’s best for you and your situation.

Personalize Wedding Traditions to Add Meaning

Whether you decide to have an intimate elopement or a big wedding, you can personalize your wedding day to make it meaningful. You are free to take wedding traditions and make them your own, or even start your own traditions!

Meaningful Wedding Ideas

• Only invite your closest friends and relatives
• Write your own vows
• Get married in a unique place that has special meaning to you
• Include your pets in your day
• Take photos on disposable cameras
• Have family and friends share speeches
• Personalize your decorations
• Have a receiving line to greet all of your guests
• Dedicate lots of time to dancing and socializing with guests
• Have a multi-day wedding; one day with just the two of you and one day to celebrate with family and friends

Looking for more idea’s? Here are 50+ unique things to do on your wedding day!

When What You Want and What Your Family Wants is Different

Sometimes what you want for your wedding day is different from what your family wants. This can put you in a difficult position, and you’ll need to decide what to do based on your own family dynamics.

What I would suggest is sharing with them why you want to celebrate this way and share why it’s more meaningful to you and make sure they know that you value their opinion but you are doing what is best for the two of you to celebrate your marriage. In the end, it’s up to you and your partner to decide how you want to celebrate.

I hope you found this helpful! I help couples plan meaningful elopements all across the western U.S. From choosing a location to finding activities for your day, I would love to help you plan a meaningful wedding outdoors! If you’re interested in an elopement, send me a message and I would love to share with you more information about what that can look like!

Happy eloping!